Let\u2019s face it: women are always trying something new in the name of looking good. Lesson learned \u2014 sometimes those \u201csomethings\u201d fight back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve wanted to start this blog since July. Life, however, has thrown me more curveballs than a Mets pitcher on a hot streak. Some days I wake up ready to attack the world. Other days I\u2019m stuck in an executive dysfunction loop that crushes me before I even start. Having a 3-year-old in your 40s is a different beast. And this is the first time I\u2019ve ever been a full-time stay-at-home mom. I used to juggle all the things, but lately, I feel exhausted to my core.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So tonight, I\u2019m sharing a story. Because if you can\u2019t laugh at it after the fact, it\u2019ll just get added to the long list of things that make you cry in the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was July. The summer heat was relentless, and my husband\u2019s birthday was coming up. For once, we were actually home and able to celebrate with friends \u2014 on a weekend no less! I planned a shrimp boil and found a pretty, out-of-my-comfort-zone dress after hours of scrolling Amazon without my glasses on (you know, the dangerous kind of shopping).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The dress was backless, which meant I needed some kind of engineering miracle to wrangle \u201cthe ladies.\u201d Enter: adhesive chicken cutlets, a.k.a. sticky boobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Context: I\u2019ve never been smaller than a 36C since I was 13. I\u2019ve had four kids. Gravity and I are well acquainted. So, when I say \u201cthe ladies\u201d require feats of nature to stay in check, I\u2019m not exaggerating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fast-forward four days (yes, Amazon takes that long to reach us in the middle of nowhere). The dress arrived. The stickies arrived. The dress? Gorgeous. The stickies? A disaster. I wore them for five minutes before ripping them off and immediately requesting a return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quick rewind: six years ago, after my mom passed away from an enlarged heart, I went through my own cardiac work-up. Turns out my irregular heartbeat is actually\u2026 my regular heartbeat (lucky me). But during that testing, I wore a heart monitor taped to my chest for 30 days \u2014 and developed a nasty adhesive allergy. Ever since, I\u2019ve been careful with medical tapes, Band-Aids, you name it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But apparently, I didn\u2019t think to add \u201ccheap Amazon boob adhesives\u201d to that list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wednesday night: tried the stickies.
Thursday morning: mild rash.
No big deal. I washed my skin, boxed up the culprits, and planned a date night in Syracuse to see the Mets with Nick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was hot. We walked, ate, drank a little, and made it to the 8th inning before I started feeling really warm. I went to the bathroom \u2014 and almost screamed. My lips were swollen like I\u2019d gone ten rounds with a bee hive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nick took one look at me and said, \u201cOh. Wow.\u201d The concession stand worker cheerfully told me, \u201cMy daughter pays good money for lips like those.\u201d (Thanks, Karen. Very helpful.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cue: frantic ice hunt, a quick ChatGPT inquiry, and an emergency Walmart run. Half a bottle of children\u2019s Benadryl later, I was out cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saturday morning: still swollen, now itchy. I lifted my shirt and found my torso covered in hives. All the way to my hips. Emergency room. Steroids. And Nick, ever the comic relief, coined the term that stuck: \u201cTemu-bies.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From that day forward, I made a pact with myself: either I buy clothes that can handle a real bra, or I let the ladies hang. If someone catches a nip? Happy birthday, I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But here\u2019s the bigger truth: this whole ridiculous, itchy, swollen mess became the push I needed to finally start this blog. For years, I\u2019ve been surviving \u2014 running on fumes, juggling school forms, illnesses, marriage, family, and trying to find myself outside of being needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not a perfect mom. I lose my patience. I say things I regret. I\u2019ve had weekends lost to prednisone haze and edible experiments gone sideways. But through all of it, I keep circling back to the same desire: I want to be myself again. I want to laugh at the nonsense. I want to dance in the kitchen. I want to share the raw, unfiltered moments no one else talks about \u2014 the ones that aren\u2019t gossip but still stick with you because they\u2019re real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The world is heavy enough. If my swollen-lip, rash-covered, Temu-bie disaster can make you laugh (or at least feel less alone), then I\u2019ll consider this first post a success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s to more stories, more honesty, and hopefully fewer rashes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Let\u2019s face it: women are always trying something new in the name of looking good. Lesson learned \u2014 sometimes those \u201csomethings\u201d fight back. I\u2019ve wanted to start this blog since July. Life, however, has thrown me more curveballs than a Mets pitcher on a hot streak. Some days I wake up ready to attack the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-lately"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions\/108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}