First of all, thank you to everyone who checks out my weekly posts. Seriously. I know they\u2019re sometimes messy and sometimes feel like d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu, but something in them keeps resonating with you all and you keep coming back for more. And for that, I am grateful. Saturdays at 1 a.m. apparently being my peak traffic time absolutely cracks me up\u2014little light toilet reading, perhaps? If you haven\u2019t subscribed yet, I hope you do. It\u2019s only one email a week. I know the struggle of an inbox full of \u201c15% off!\u201d emails when you only signed up for a single coupon back in 2021, and I apologize for not offering you any discounts. I don\u2019t have products\u2026 unless you want photos or beard balms. Then, hi. I\u2019ve got you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the time this posts, Nick and I will be on Day 6 without bread, rice, pasta, or potatoes. A little two-month reset. Not keto\u2014don\u2019t worry, we\u2019re not becoming That Couple. We\u2019re just trying to eliminate the things that taste amazing but make us feel like absolute dog shit after. Thanksgiving lovingly reminded us of that. By day six, we shouldn\u2019t feel as physically or mentally heavy. Our carb gremlin should downgrade from \u201chostage-taker\u201d to \u201cfriendly negotiator\u201d whispering, \u201cCome on\u2026 just one bite of a cookie.\u201d Energy should level out, the hangry moods should simmer down, and the bloating should decrease\u2014well, except for the period I\u2019m getting mid-reset, which will be a fun experiment. But overall, day six is usually when my body stops fighting me like a feral raccoon and remembers we\u2019re on the same team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wish us luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Somewhere between swearing off bread and decking the halls, I hit a point this week that really made something click. Because tell me why the shift from Thanksgiving to Christmas feels like a Tylenol Cold & Flu mixed with caffeine and a panic attack. Two major holidays basically touching each other\u2026 WTF!? It\u2019s the same every year, but the older I get, the more it feels like emotional whiplash. Every year we buy gifts for all six girls. A lot of gifts. But most years, we don\u2019t buy for each other. This year has been packed with concerts, trips, outings, responsibilities\u2014all the things\u2014and somewhere in that chaos I realized: birthdays and Christmas just aren\u2019t \u201cspecial\u201d anymore. Growing up, those were the magical days. The big deals. The moments you waited for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now? It\u2019s more like: see it, they\u2019ll love it, buy it, give it now. And then Christmas rolls around and we\u2019re all sitting here like, \u201cOkay\u2026 but what can possibly top the special thing we already gave in April?\u201d It\u2019s exhausting, and honestly? It steals the magic right out from under you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And as I was thinking about all of this, I suddenly remembered something I wrote in a previous post \u2014 Treat Yo Self: The Existential Edition. That entire piece was me realizing how consideration gets pushed to the back burner when life gets loud, and how easy it is to forget to consider myself, my needs, or even why I do the things I do. What I didn\u2019t realize then was that I was also talking about THIS \u2014 the quiet shift happening underneath all the holiday noise. Back then, I was learning how to be considerate of myself. And now, I\u2019m learning how to bring that same kind of intentional consideration into our whole family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So this year? I\u2019m done with that cycle. This year we\u2019re switching to Christmas Baskets. I\u2019m buying the baskets, and each girl gets ONE small, thoughtful gift for every person in the house. $10\u2013$20 max. No coupons, no junk, nothing meaningless. It can be thrifted, baked, handmade, regifted, bought\u2014whatever\u2014as long as it\u2019s personal to the receiver. They can follow the \u201cwant, need, wear, read\u201d guideline if they want, but the real goal here is to make them think, to get to know each other, to show effort. Because too often I hear about the time and energy they put into friends or other parents or significant others, and Nick and I\u2014or even their siblings\u2014end up as the afterthought. This is about intention. About financial sanity. About teaching them that gifts are not just items\u2014they\u2019re effort, thought, and time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of these thoughts actually came out of the journal my best friend gifted me \u2014 the one that says, \u201cTurns Out These Are My Monkeys and This is<\/em> My Circus.\u201d<\/strong> Which honestly feels a little too on the nose at this point. I\u2019ve been scribbling every realization, meltdown, breakthrough, and half-baked idea into that thing. If you need your own space to dump chaos-brain ramblings or brilliant midnight epiphanies, I linked a similar one here<\/a><\/em>*. No pressure \u2014 just sharing what\u2019s genuinely been helping me process all of this in real time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And that brings me to what hit me like a Mack truck on Friday while I was decorating: TIME is the real gift no one acknowledges anymore. It\u2019s wild how invisible it becomes. Every strand of lights I put up, every window I cleaned, every crumb I scraped off the floor, every meal I made, every errand I ran\u2014it was all my TIME. And that\u2019s something people forget is being given freely, out of love, every damn day. Yes, we chose to have children, but the level of TIME we choose to pour into them\u2014into making their lives comfortable, safe, festive, fun\u2014is not some bottomless resource that should be taken for granted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So there I was, in full ADHD holiday tornado mode: put up lights \u2192 notice dirty windows \u2192 clean windows \u2192 clean sills \u2192 back to lights \u2192 garland \u2192 dust \u2192 move toddler table \u2192 crumbs \u2192 WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SOMETHING. The emotional volleyball in my chest was ready to burst. I used to deep-clean this whole house myself: downstairs one day, upstairs the next, keep it maintained. But then the mom guilt set in. I didn\u2019t want Evelyn\u2019s toddler years to be another blur where I \u201cgot through\u201d my days cleaning while she grew up. I already blinked and my three oldest turned into practically-grown people while I was folding laundry and trying not to lose my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So we made family deep-clean weekends. Except\u2026 they haven\u2019t been happening. Realizing that hurt. I was frustrated, exhausted, emotional\u2014just over it. And the truth is, Nick and I give out ungodly amounts of TIME. Not just around the holidays\u2014every damn day. Going out, shopping, buying food, cooking meals, cleaning up messes, handling schedules, showing up to events, supporting everyone emotionally, managing the house, working\u2014we are constantly giving TIME. And showing up for someone, in any capacity, is TIME. Time we don\u2019t get back. Time we choose to give because we love them. And it hit me how little people actually notice or appreciate that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People are lightning-fast to point out when your tone is tired or you\u2019re less chipper than usual\u2026 but rarely does anyone pause and say, \u201cWow, this looks amazing. Thank you for spending your TIME to make this feel like home.\u201d Appreciation costs nothing. But damn, it goes far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With all of that building up, I did the only thing I knew would release the pressure: AirPods in, emotionally destructive music queued up, cry it out. It worked. I breathed again. I built Evelyn a little magical tent with sheets and Christmas lights, we ate lunch, she napped, I showered, Nick came home, and suddenly I was human again instead of a cranky holiday gremlin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I pitched my Christmas Basket idea. He loved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And honestly? With the hospital he works for being financially held hostage by politics right now, we don\u2019t need the annual Christmas-induced financial crisis on top of everything else. Our family doesn\u2019t need anything. Wants? Sure. But if we want to keep prioritizing experiences over stuff, then in the wise words of Mick Jagger: \u201cYou can\u2019t always get what you want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wish me luck in this new Christmas Basket Era. And please\u2014for the love of everything\u2014let yourself fucking breathe this holiday season. TIME is a gift. Don\u2019t forget to give some of it to yourself!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Want next Tuesday\u2019s story straight to your inbox?
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