{"id":482,"date":"2026-05-29T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-29T16:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/?p=482"},"modified":"2026-05-28T13:36:27","modified_gmt":"2026-05-28T17:36:27","slug":"i-ignored-every-burnout-warning-until-my-body-shut-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/?p=482","title":{"rendered":"I Ignored Every Burnout Warning Until My Body Shut Down"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I have been fighting the nastiest sinus infection for a while now, but the actual fight didn’t start until Friday when I finally caved and went to the doctor. Augmentin for seven days. My uvula swelled so badly I almost literally lost my voice \u2014 which feels like the universe’s idea of a joke considering I’ve been spending the last nine months trying to find<\/em> my voice on this blog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s the thing: I’ve been sick because my body was sending me signals for weeks that my immune system was crashing, and I ignored every single one of them. Because I was too busy trying to perform at the top all the time. Too busy checking metrics and worrying about traffic and wondering if I was doing this whole thing right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of metrics \u2014 this blog is nine months old now, and my excitement led me to believe the (apparently) overinflated visitor analytics WordPress was feeding me. The Mediavine deadline came and went on May 26th. I didn’t hit the 50,000 monthly visitors required to qualify. I’m sitting here sick, heating pad reheated for the third time in the last hour, humidifier running, and Nick baking again<\/em> in the kitchen \u2014 and I’ll be honest with you: I found myself sinking into a little depression about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yes, I shared those inflated analytics on social media when I was excited about them. Do I feel a smidge silly now? Yeah. But I can own it and learn from it. I will make those numbers true based on real numbers and real interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here’s what happened when I actually looked at the real numbers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spent today actually setting up Pinterest for the blog \u2014 not just making a board and calling it done. I created 18 pins across two posts, verified my website, built templates I can reuse, and learned more about quote pins, SEO descriptions, and CapCut than I thought I’d ever need to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But before I dove into Pinterest, I looked at my actual site analytics. And I mean really<\/em> looked at them \u2014 not just the vanity numbers, but what’s actually happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s the truth: my analytics say I’m getting around 4,000 visitors per week. But when you factor out bots (because apparently 33% of my “traffic” is just bots crawling the site), my own admin logins, WordPress backend processes, and international bot activity, the real number is closer to 2,000 actual human visitors per week. About 250-350 real people per day. Google Analytics 4 shows even more conservative numbers, but the trend is clear: it’s growing week over week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here’s the thing \u2014 I’m not disappointed by that. I’m actually kind of blown away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because that’s 2,000 real people finding my blog with almost no SEO, zero Pinterest traffic (until today), and no social media promotion beyond the occasional Instagram story. That’s pure word-of-mouth. That’s 71% US-based readers, which means my content is landing with the exact audience I’m writing for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s validation that what I’m writing matters to someone other than me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So yeah, today I set up Pinterest. Not because I’m desperate for traffic, but because I’m building on something that’s already working. The 18 pins I published today aren’t a Hail Mary \u2014 they’re an amplifier for content that’s already resonating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pinterest isn’t going to save me. It’s going to scale me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And honestly? That feels better than any vanity metric ever could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Last week I talked about something that only the closest people in my life know about. I hesitated to share it for a long time \u2014 mostly to protect my kids from any backlash. What I’ve realized is that it needs to be talked about more often. I keep things to myself to keep the peace and the quiet for others, but it doesn’t do me any favors to hold back. What it does is give permission to the people who cause chaos to continue to do so. The post is there for the reading, and hopefully it helps someone feel less alone in their own journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of not being alone \u2014 I recently discovered a podcast called “How Do I Do This? with Ryanne” (@howdoidothispod<\/a> \u2014 thanks, algorithm). She’s an attorney mom navigating life, and she recently had the misfortune of being inducted into the Dead Moms Club. If you’ve experienced the same thing, her most recent episode on 5\/19 covers grief, boundaries, and estrangement \u2014 something I covered in my post He’s Just Not That Into You\u2026Even When It’s Your Dad.<\/em><\/a> It’s worth a listen if any of that hits home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel like at this point in my life I have run the gamut on all things. Motherhood at a young age and now mid-life. Grief of losing parents \u2014 biological and the ones who raised me. Stepparenting. Divorce. All while trying to hold some space and semblance for myself. I don’t think I’ve ever related more to an octopus in my life.<\/strong> Arms extended in all directions, entire life devoted to eventually dying once all the young have been carried to term. (If you know anyone who does outstanding tattoo line work, I’d like to get an octopus tattoo \u2014 I’ll take the recommendation.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am slowly getting feedback, mostly in my DMs, but it exists and those matter just as much \u2014 if not more \u2014 than the double-tap hearts. Here’s what I’m learning this week while I’m sick and stuck on the couch: Your body will make the decision for you if you refuse to make it yourself.<\/strong> And “showing up” doesn’t count if you’re doing it on an empty tank. The hard part isn’t admitting you’re burned out \u2014 it’s believing you’re allowed to stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The thing about this sinus infection? I’ve actually been dealing with the symptoms for about a month. I chalked it up to temperamental weather and hormones. But that’s just it \u2014 at this age, it could be anything. The barometric pressure, an increase or decrease in hormones, or just plain old allergies because of cats or the trees. As a mom though, we are trained to work through our illnesses. We treat the symptoms and move along. Sometimes it clears and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes we need a little extra help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if you were raised in a way that you had to figure things out for yourself when you got older, sometimes you don’t ask for help. If there aren’t visible signs of illness, it doesn’t exist. It’s not until the swelling develops from the pressure inside that we decide it’s time to address it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That’s what this blog has been for me. It has relieved the pressure of the things I have not addressed, and I am hoping to continue to address.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here’s me asking: This will be my 38th post. Thirty-eight weeks of showing up.<\/strong> And I am asking for help. I am asking for direction from some of my readers. I am open to the feedback \u2014 not necessarily to change HOW I do this, but to understand how to better connect and help this grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you want to hear about? What is most relatable? Which posts have hit home for you? Tell me. I love engagement and feedback. I’m genuinely asking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It does take a village to raise children. And sometimes it takes a coven to raise up the women who raise those children too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Update, because you deserve the ending:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Six days on antibiotics with not the slightest improvement. I called my doctor and when he wanted to prescribe Flonase \u2014 which I’d already been doing \u2014 Nick insisted on a steroid. Day two of steroids and I’m finally on the mend. The overflow of mucus from where it was blocked and now isn’t is something I wasn’t fully prepared for, but I’ll take it. Coughing is fun when you’re also trying not to piss your pants, but that’s perimenopause and having four babies for you. It’s an improvement. I can breathe fully again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out sometimes you need someone in your corner who will advocate for you when you won’t do it for yourself. Even when that someone is just trying to get you off the couch so you can go back to the gym.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Oh \u2014 and Evelyn’s latest boundary testing includes asking, “Is asshole a bad word?” When she’s told it is, she tries another word like butthole. I wish asking random questions like that was acceptable in adult conversation too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m still here. I’m still showing up. Even when my body stages an intervention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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P.S. \u2014 I added my new sandals to the Shit I Actually Love<\/a> list because I do actually love them. Cloud Project <\/a>for the win when you want cute, stylish, but also require arch support because you have aging feet.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been fighting the nastiest sinus infection for a while now, but the actual fight didn’t start until Friday when I finally caved and went to the doctor. Augmentin for seven days. My uvula swelled so badly I almost literally lost my voice \u2014 which feels like the universe’s idea of a joke considering […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-lately"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=482"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":490,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions\/490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stillmeinhere.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}