Author: stillmeinhere

I started writing this on Sunday and now it’s Tuesday—posting day—which feels fitting because my brain has been operating like it’s already Thursday since about 5:15 this morning. I’ll be honest: I feel a little all over the place. A little disheartened by analytics. A little tired of trying to remember the funny thing I…

Last week was New Year’s Eve, and I cried in my car. Way to start 2026’s first post, Bridgette. But in all seriousness—with some humor—everything will be okay. So, it wasn’t the cinematic kind of cry with swelling music or dramatic timing. Just tears spilling out because my stepdaughter told me something simple: her therapist…

My boobs are on fire with an ache that feels like when I was pregnant. Only this time, I am not. I’m nearly 45 years old, day 22 of my cycle, and we just bumped my estrogen patch up. I fell asleep with a heating pad on my chest, melatonin mixed in with my nightly…

Christmas Eve is tomorrow.Which feels impossible, considering Thanksgiving happened about ten minutes ago and Valentine’s Day items are already out, quietly reminding me that I’ll be 45 in less than two months. Rude. It’s crunch time. Christmas Day is two days away, and we’ve just passed the winter solstice. The shortest day of the year.…

Yesterday my brain was loud—not panicked, not spiraling—just constantly running. Spinning. Trying to solve something that didn’t have a clean solution. I felt it in my body before I could fully name it. My ears hurt. My sinuses felt dry and full at the same time. That familiar am-I-getting-sick-or-am-I-just-exhausted feeling settled in, and lately I’m…

First of all, thank you to everyone who checks out my weekly posts. Seriously. I know they’re sometimes messy and sometimes feel like déjà vu, but something in them keeps resonating with you all and you keep coming back for more. And for that, I am grateful. Saturdays at 1 a.m. apparently being my peak…

Before I even started writing this, I second-guessed myself about a hundred times. I didn’t want this to come off like I was calling anyone out or dumping emotion onto the internet without thinking it through. I even had my best friend read it, and she told me to leave it as is. And the…

What a week it has been. It all started last Wednesday, with smegma. Or so I thought. I was in that post-period mental drive—ready to be productive, ready to obsess a little, and determined to keep myself rational. We’ve settled into a mostly productive routine… minus the gym, because we haven’t dared step foot in…

(Still Me In Here Blog — Free Writing Edition) I’m sitting on my bed with ocean sounds playing from PokPok, pretending I’m the kind of person who has her inner world totally under control. Evelyn and I had a good morning, which is probably why my brain decided to take this moment to fire off…

There are people who change you quietly, piece by piece, and then there are the ones who grab your soul by the shoulders and remind you that you’re still in there. You are those women for me. I’ve lost touch with so many people over the years—some on purpose, some by accident—but recently I reconnected…