I saw this Reel on Instagram the other day (probably from TikTok, but whatever — I get everything late like every other elder millennial). The woman was saying how she started using the word “OK” whenever her kids were being… well, kids. She stopped arguing, stopped overexplaining, stopped taking the bait. She just said “OK.”
At first, I thought it sounded too simple. But then I tried it with Evelyn, my three-year-old. And holy crap…it works!
Toddlers and the Art of Gaslighting
Toddlers are tiny dictators with chubby cheeks. They will convince you that yes, they do need the pink cup, even though you gave them the pink cup. They will swear that bedtime they’re “not going to sleep!”. And sometimes, they gaslight you like a toxic ex.
Case in point: Evelyn will clutch my leg, eyes wide, and wail, “Mommy, don’t leave me! Don’t leave me alone!” As if I just leave her wandering the wilderness like a feral Disney character. Girl, I’ve never left you alone a day in your life. I can’t even pee without an audience.
And because life likes to keep things interesting, one of my closest friends (currently in law school) thought it would be hilarious to teach Evelyn the word “allegedly.” So now, my three-year-old gas-lighter has legal vocabulary. Perfect. Just what I needed. A toddler who can plead her case and cover her tracks.
Enters the Kool-Aid man voice over, “OK!”
Instead of cross-examining her like I’m on trial for Worst Mom of the Year, I just say “OK.” Argument diffused. Toddler satisfied. And me? I keep my sanity.
Teenagers: Same Circus, Bigger Shoes
Here’s the thing: teenagers think they’re different. They have more knowledge, more opinions, and way more eye-roll practice. But emotionally? They’re not that far off from their three-year-old sister.
I haven’t started using “OK” on them…yet. I did warn them, though. I told them how well it works with Evelyn and suggested maybe they try it instead of wasting energy arguing with a three-year-old. (Spoiler: they won’t.)
But the more I think about it, the more I realize I am going to use it — just not the way they expect. See, when my sister and I were teenagers and screwed up, my dad didn’t yell. He didn’t hand out immediate punishments. He was stealthy. He’d wait until we needed something, then casually drop: “Do you remember the other day when [insert infraction]? Well… there’s some yard work I’d like to get done.”
That was his version of “OK.” Quiet, patient, terrifyingly effective. And honestly? Brilliant.
So yes, I’ll be carrying on the tradition. And when the teenagers least expect it, “OK” will come back around with a rake and a trash bag.
People Who Should Know Better
This one’s for the grown-ups. You’d think by adulthood, people would have outgrown tantrums. Ha. Cute. Sometimes they just get better at disguising them as “opinions” or “boundary-pushing.”
Take coparenting, for example. One parent makes a clear rule: communicate, don’t put the kids in the middle. So naturally, the other parent finds a loophole and parks in front of our house, sends the kid in, and avoids talking directly. Narcissism at its finest (insert eye roll and “ok” in the most sarcastic tone you can muster).
Do I want to scream? Absolutely. Do I want to write a dissertation on basic human decency? Every damn day. But instead, I save my energy. I say: OK.
Because here’s the truth: I can’t control anyone else’s behavior. I can only control mine. And I refuse to let other people’s nonsense derail me.
Crossing Tracks
The real magic of “OK” hit me on a walk with Evelyn. We’d already crossed the train tracks once, were about to cross them again, and suddenly she yelled: “I’m scared of trains now!”
Alarm bells in my head. Frustration rising. Missing the gym (again). Feeling resentful (again). Wanting one thing, just ONE, to go the way I would like it without having to consider everyone else. Something else both Nick and I are working on separately and together.
But instead of spiraling, I just said, “OK.” We kept walking. We crossed the tracks. She was fine. I was fine. We were fine.
The Takeaway
“OK” isn’t compliance. It’s not condoning behavior. It’s me refusing to hand over the steering wheel of my sanity.
It validates without surrendering. It stops the power struggles before they even start. And it gives me permission to keep moving forward — across train tracks, through teenage debates, past narcissistic nonsense, and into the better things waiting on the other side.
And honestly? This part is new for me. Saying “OK” — especially when it comes to the ex’s behavior — is me learning, every single day, how to let go. It’s me rekindling my own peace. Because I don’t want to keep giving my energy to people who thrive on negativity. That’s not mine to carry.
So yes, my new life hack is just one word: OK.
But let’s not forget another powerful one: NO. No is a full sentence. No doesn’t need decoration, no doesn’t require justification, and no is every bit as freeing as OK when it’s said with intention.
It’s amazing how much one word can truly mean. Now I’m curious — what’s your one-word sentence? Drop it in the comments. I’d love to see the words that keep you sane, steady, and moving forward.
And for the record? Smell the roses when you get there. But watch where you step. Shit lingers (like for a decade. NO JOKE!).
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